i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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