so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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