I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Randomize
