Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
