No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
