hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
