i already hear my dad disowning me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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