New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize