Soap is not a condiment
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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