I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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