carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize