Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
