if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
