its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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