so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
