Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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