playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize