god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize