i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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