ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
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