they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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