if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
