just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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