hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
