Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
