if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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