Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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