We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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