He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
