It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
