You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I AM VODKA MAN
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
