Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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