playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize