i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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