So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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