you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Randomize
