you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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