Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
