I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
