just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have post one night stand depression
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