Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
