is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize