Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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