honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Found the puke drawer
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
