I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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