And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
