god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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