I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
