I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
