3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
