Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
