So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
