Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
