Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
