i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
