Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize