Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize