fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
