he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
