No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
