i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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