After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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