her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
