She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
