Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
