All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
