Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it's like iHOP with fire
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
